ASH WEDNESDAY

I'm headed for Porco's Bar
and eveybody I pass
got this dirt spot on the forehead.
What is this, I think,
nobody's mama ever teach them to wash?

I open the door and there too
everybody got the mark.
I sit on a stool, lean my back against the bar
so I's can check out the action.
Henry and Mick are shootin' eight ball.
Connie's pumpin' quarters into the juke.
Old toothless Tony is playin' the poker machine
slammin' and swearin',
clickin' eight points off the total
with each draw of the deck.

Two women I ain't seen before
are at a corner table.
The one with the short skirt
keeps glancin' over.
When I make eye contact,
she lays on this ruby smile
that makes my balls tickle.
Shit, I think, am I lucky or what?

I turn to the bar where I know Harry
had left my beer. I grab it. I'm gonna
stroll over there. Don't need to be invited twice.
I can almost hear the cat purr.
I grab my change too. It's gonna be one
of them nights. At the last minute, I think
maybe I ought to check my hair
so as it ain't messed or nothin'
I look in the mirror across the way
and damned if I ain't got one of them spots too.

---

EVERYBODY GOTTA HAVE SOMETHIN'

"Give nobody no grief."
That's my motto.
Don't get me wrong.
I ain't no wimp.
Nobody to walk over.
But I ain't never been one of them
you see me comin' better step aside guys.
No lover neither.
All the ladies can tell you that.
And some'll tell you twice.

So what's the point, huh?
Well, all I know is
it ain't easy for nobody.
Why add to the weight?

---

RATS!

Dem goddamn neighbors done it again.
Rats! Rats all over the place.
My neighbors been pitchin' their garbage
out the door, the window, whatever.
Ain't got enough sense to bag trash,
stuff it into the can, walk it down
to the alley, drop it where it oughta be.

Comin' home last night,
I seen one, I swear, big as a dog.
That sucker ran right over my foot,
practically broke three toes
then runs ina hole in the basement wall.
And the basement is where I live.
I can just see that filthy rat
jumpin' outa my toilet
as I'm about to squat.
No way I'm gonna sit on that can
when they're still around.
So I'm stockpilin' boxes
if I gotta go. Little gifts
for my neighbors, you might say.