Alright Anyone who thinks they're too mature to listen to this can hit that old, reliable "Back" button and fuck off. Anyone who's left probably is too mature to listen to this, but I'll go on anyway. Put your ear right up next to the monitor on this one:
     The world without you will go on functioning in pretty much the same way as the world with you. Sounds like a good reason to go end it all, doesn't it? Well, it's not. In fact, it's exactly the opposite. It's only when you are capable of accepting this concept that you can begin to function like a mature human being.
     When I was about 6 or 7, I figured that I was the only real person in the world and everything around me was an incredibly elaborate illusion created by God to teach me how to live right. I'd be willing to bet that a lot of you had that same delusion at one point or another in your lives. Fortunately, I outgrew this within a year or two and stopped torturing small animals.
     Let me tell you a story. Let's pretend I have a room-mate named Ham. (It's a stretch, I know) Ham never really outgrew that egocentric phase. It's probably not his fault, seeing as how his childhood sucked and he was an outcast throughout high-school. He was almost forced inward, and pretending that all those fuckers weren't real - that real people wouldn't be such total bastards - was how he coped with it.
     Ham's in college now, and he's not doing well. He can't seem to get it through his head that responsibility is a concept that applies to him. He sleeps through class, he blows off homework, and he doesn't really give a shit about anything or anyone. None of it is real, right? So what the fuck does it matter? He majors in religious studies. This doesn't help.
     Today, I watched him blow off his girlfriend not once, but twice. His old girlfriend dumped him just a week ago. He sat here and he watched cartoons all fucking day while I was trying to study and get some work done. I listened to him, just an hour ago, tell his mother that he hated her. No screaming, no emotion, almost as if he was just saying it to see how she'd react. He stormed out of the room with his coat on when I asked him when he was going to stop actively trying to sabotage every single one of his relationships. I don't expect to see him for a couple days.
     What am I trying to get across with all of this? No, it's not that my room-mate is a dick. He is, but then I am too, so it kind of balances out.
     I'm no paragon of morality and responsibility. My first year here at college is ample proof of that. I did, however, have a fairly startling revelation last summer, when I realized that the world would function without me in pretty much the same was as it would with me. If I wanted to have a house, and a family, and food on the table, I'd have to stop pretending I was special and work for what I want. Ham hasn't figured this out yet. He still thinks he's special. Maybe you do, too. Stop it.

-Dave