Installment 1
I knew somewhere in me, in a far corner behind some organs, or between some corpuscles, or in one of the hemispheres, that I wanted you. I knew it almost instinctively.
It's an otherworldly hot desert night, and the white unforgiving heat of the day has given way to the relentless whir of the circadia, and the lunatic fringe brain fry body awareness. It's almost dark now, the moon is full and the no breeze so still. The aqua in the pool is illuminated, and my thoughts are whirring with the circadia in anticipation.
You knock, the dogs bark, I answer. There is an endearing nervousness rippling across your smile. We embrace that familiar friend way, only linger a bit longer. I fight instinctive tangents. We break the hold with simultaneous underbreath laughs. You follow me to the kitchen with your strawberries, chocolate, Corona, and tortillas, to add to the evenings tasties.
With my head down, I feel you watching me as I slice the limes. "You did bring your suit?", I ask, smiling at you. You nod and ramble on about being out of shape.
I smile and think, "yeah, right." We head to the patio with our Coronas and lime. The flies are swooping with desert summer persistence.
"Taking requests for tunes," I offer. You select Melissa Etheridge, I select Sheryl Crow, and throw in Mazzy Star, and Shelby Lynne for good measure. The beers go fast. I get up to retrieve a second round, you follow me with strawberries and liquid chocolate. We feast on the succulence and smile at the decadence.
Three Coronas into the night, inhibitions are relinquished. You ask me to fire up the jets. I turn on the spa that is already hot from the day. We slide out of our shorts down to our suits, and submerge to our necks. The silence between us is comfortable as we stare up at the connect the dots million stars, and the round white moon. Toes touch. We smile. I wonder if you can feel the warm surges that I am feeling. The tension is new hot palpable, yet oddly familiar. I am wondering who will overt first, as you slide your underwater hand up my inner thigh and pause.
(to be continued)
Family
The parameters of the past
came to visit
and stayed too long
letting go is
calling one of the last few
memorized numbers
getting the machine
and having nothing to say
Malcontent in California
self exiled refugee
winter agitation in a tourist town
homicidal urges
to rear end tourists
really hard
as they pediddle down
the road
sucking Ensure from a straw
driving a Jag under the influence
of Ensure should be illegal
in the State of California
the desert blue
sky
monochromatic space
endless room
breathing room
expansion room
blackest nights
endless stars
words move again
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